I've been waiting for the right time to unleash this one on you all, because it is truly a miraculous triumph of the Marden's shoe section. And it's been so rainy lately, and we deserve at least a little artificial sunshine. Drumroll, please...
Squeeeeee! But I'll have you know that these are not just four-inch rhinestone stiletto silver platform shoes. They are Mariah Carey four-inch rhinestone stiletto silver platform shoes! Holy Jesus on a stick, I need eight pairs of these, NOW. This kind of discovery needs to be viewed from more than one angle:
The part I love most, other than how giggly I get when I imagine trying to walk in these, is how the platforms look like really expensive foot-dentures. Like Kanye's diamond grill. The shoes still would have been crazy-ish without the extra two inches of rhinestones, but Mariah likes her footwear extra cracked-out.
Jillian, who does not have elf-sized feet like me and can therefore shop in the big girls' part of the shoe section, scored the gold version:
She did manage to walk down most of the shoe aisle wearing them, and no she did not fall down or grab onto the racks or even teeter all that much. In the end, we both decided that $35 was a bit much to spend on foot-torture devices we can't wear more than once a year, transcendently beautiful as they are. But we sure do hope someone out there gives them a good home.